The Happening The Happening
By James Harper
The Happening is the newest movie from M. Night Shyamalan. If you don't recognize the name, he was the director of The Sixth Sense, Signs, Lady in the Water and The Village. Here is what I think what the first meeting about The Happening might have been like (and it does include spoilers):
Setting is one sunny day in Hollywood (looks a bit like rain though).
Shyamalan: Hey JR, how is it going, great to see ya.
JR: Everything is going fine, we are talking to Marvel, they are hot on the grill ya know, and Polanski about The Pianist II starring Wolverine, might finally give us a shot at the Oscar. We haven't got figured out how he is going to play a piano with those thingys on his hand though but we will come up with something and it will give us a chance with some cool cameos, Jones and Nick Fury, Whatcha got.
Shyamalan: Well I had this idea for a movie, kinda creepy, kinda scary, would be rated R, too scary for the little ones.
JR: Go ahead, doesn't have anything to do with a swimming pool at a Howard Johnsons does it.
Shyamalan: No No No, I have been talking to Wahlberg, he will be good in it.
JR: What about Willis or Sarah Jessica Parker?
Shyamalan: He is tied up with something else, Die Hard On 5 or something like that, not sure who Parker is, I could check it out, not sure about her,
JR: So Wahlberg is interested, I liked him in that Bourne series, what is the plot of your big hit here?
Shyamalan: Well as the movie opens Wahlberg is a science teacher and we are going to use him to kinda of reflect on the plot as we go, and at the same time fight with his wife, kinda keep it grounded in real life. He will say things like science can't figure out stuff, and sound important like he knows what he is talking about, in film school I think they call it foreclosing or something like that...
JR: yeah.
Shyamalan: Well people start dying JR, they start dying,
JR: like chicken pox or zombies...
Shyamalan: Not exactly, they commit suicide, all these people are committing suicide, no one knows why.
JR: That sounds like a great hook, better than everyone singing like those Jr High pictures that are floating around.
Shyamalan: Yeah, and it will make the film more graphic, all these people committing suicide, gives us a shot at the younger crowd that likes horror movies...
JR: that is always good.
Shyamalan: So Wahlberg, playing a guy name Elliot, takes his family and runs, he runs JR, so he won't commit suicide like the rest of the people.
JR: OK, not quite getting it, but go on...
Shyamalan: So while they are running Elliot says to himself, WHY are these people committing suicide?
JR: and why are they?
Shyamalan: Not yet, gotta hold it till then end, so they are running and they think it might be a terrorist attack like mustard gas, or some kind of disease, so this builds the suspense up, the science teacher is trying to figure this out, I will throw them a couple of red herrings just to keep it jumping, we see more suicides, jumping under lawnmowers, more of Elliot fighting with his wife (which of course can drive a guy to suicide).
JR: so what happens?
Shyamalan: They lose contact with the outside world, the outside world JR, it gets creepy, what are they going to do, people committing suicide all around, losing contact with the outside world, fighting with your wife...
JR: yeah...
Shyamalan: so the big shocker is that about 3/4th of the way into the movie it turns out the wind and the grass are killing everyone, that the wind and nature are mad at everybody so they zap them with an virus or something, so I will have shots of the trees blowing, and it will be scary, they will have to run from the wind or they will commit suicide, JR, could you stop laughing for a minute.
JR: that's a good one, ok what is the real plot you were going to tell me about?
 Shyamalan: No No No, stay with me, the wind and the grass are going to get together and make people commit suicide, it is scientifically plausible, it could happen, and wind and grass don't belong to any union either,
JR: I don't remember grass attacking anyone lately.
Shyamalan: Haven't you ever read "Fate" or "The Weekly World" JR, it could happen, there was that guy in North Carolina, I am going to put a great big scary what-if story on the screen, it will scare the hell of them, JR why are you laughing?
JR: So the bad guy that everyone is running from is wind and grass.
Shyamalan: Yeah like I said.
JR (interrupting and punching his intercom): Marge please call security for me right now.
The movie is actually not that bad, but it is a science fiction movie without any science. It falls flat on its face. There is no payoff in the movie. If you like the director then please go see it, and I liked Wahlberg in The Happening, but the plot is really close to being a total disaster (I like watching bad movies sometimes, you couldn't make this stuff up if you tried).
You can write to James Harper at movielover77061@yahoo.com |
